Dear diary

"Dear Diary...",

Well, that's for Vampire's Diary...

For me,

"Dear Blogger..."..

It's quite a long time I didn't "speak" to this Blogger.

I thought I don't need to do this anymore.

I have been upset, depressed low-down for these few days.

There is nothing special about it.

I was just sensitive and make things too complicated.

I was sad without reason, 

and actually, I m sad...

The feeling's still there, I can't get rid of it.

I really wonder why..?

Why the feeling is stronger this time..?

Why this happening to me..?

All I want is just a simple life.

A normal relationship, or even just a lovely relationship.

We are real, but the relationship seems not.

We seems like a couple but maybe not.

I always feel that, I am a loner.

A typical loner, without another one.

I heard all the love stories of friends, even strangers.

There are so epic and romantic, and yet so real 

but it makes me feel disappointed...

Wondering why I can't have that kind of story...

Wondering why mine is totally different from others..?

No romantic, no epic, no lovely...

All I have is just him.

That's is my own fault to get into this situation.

That's what I choose so I have to live in this way.

Changing his mind is totally not a solution.

In the same time, it wouldn't work.

Changing my lifestyle is the alternative or the solution.

Making myself different might be the only way.

It's so dramatic that people would say,

"Hey, you are who you are, you don't have to change what you used to be!"

Perhaps it maybe right but I think have choose the right one (no reason),

so I will continue with this, with him...

Too much negativity around me recently.

and I choose to dispel them, no more negative for now.

All I ever wanted is just ours.

I am fine now.

Feeling better ever.

* I think this blogger comes with mojo, the good one =)

My mood is better now,

eventhough the evening is so freaky cold.

But I am fine with it.

Here comes the better day~

Chill~!

There will always rainbow after rain.